Monkey's new diggs

So, if you didn't already know from my panic attack a few days ago, We're moving! It's going to be a bit of work, but we really love the house and the area we're moving into. In fact, I'm downright excited! Everything that is wrong with the house we're renting now is fixed with this new place. We're even within a couple of blocks of most of the people we know well here in Big Bear. And the view off of our gorgeous new back porch? Sprawling acreage, horses, and mountains.

Jason and I both have the sense that we are truly being provided for... in fact, it gives me that much needed peace of mind. ♥

Monkey. Business.

Today was incredibly stressful. It seemed like every good thing had a downside.

We found a GREAT place we're moving into starting this next week. I'm tellin' ya, it's perfect for Monkey. (Yay!) But, we have to actually pack and move all of our things. (Boo.) We weren't exactly planning on finding a new place, but this worked out really well since I would have been signing a new year lease this Thursday. (Yay!) Unfortunately, we still have to give our current rental agency 30 days notice, so we'll have to pay most of the monthly rent on both places. (Boo.) Then, I went to my prenatal appointment and listened to Monkey's strong, healthy heartbeat. (Yay!) But then the midwife and I started talking about cost of delivery and I realized we'll basically be paying most of it out of pocket due to our lame deductible. (Boo.) Monkey's arrival is approximately 4 months from now (Yay!) but, then again, we only have 4 months and I'm feeling so much stress about the coming month that I can't imagine what those other three months will bring, (Boo.) and should I even bring up the next 18 years?

There were several moments today when I felt like lying down on the floor and crying it out. That's partially due to Monkey's influence I'm sure, but in general, today was pretty hectic. Instead, I did a little retail therapy (Yay!) and looked over my registry. Oddly enough, that had me worried too. (Boo.) There are a lot of really fun baby items out there that I would love to have, but I'm most worried about the essentials. A super-cool nursery is one thing, but the peace-of-mind of having a closet full of diapers is something altogether different! Um... and maybe this would be a good time to mention that we're crazy and sadistic enough to have our hearts set on using cloth diapers? (I'm hoping our research into the BumGenius 3.0 diapers will be worth our while.)

Oye vey, diapers or not, that peace-of-mind thing is sounding pretty great right now... can't I just register for that? Come to think of it, if you've got any on hand, we're the hand-me-down kind of folks. :)

House full of Daddies

My Dad came to visit! For those of you who know my dad, you'll know what a big deal this was. He had even mentioned that this may have been the first two days off in a row he had taken in the last five years! From what I understand, Cathy basically bought him the airplane tickets, handed them to him, and said, "Go. They're not refundable." :) The tickets turned out to be an Anniversary/ Father's Day present. Although the visit was short, I'm so thankful I got to see him. Having my family see me in the glow of my first pregnancy was very important to me. While there are many others I would love to see, Dad was at the top of my list.

So, here's how it went down...

Jason had said that I needed to ask off for this past weekend. When we went to have our last ultrasound, I remember walking out to the Jeep afterward and saying, "This has been the best day of my life." Jason looked at me with the same funny smile that I saw a lot of in the next few days, and said, "Next weekend is going rival this one." I thought he was off his rocker. There was almost no way anything was as good as seeing Monkey moving on that screen looking so much like a baby since the last time we'd had a peek. But Jason was right.

This past Saturday, I was still scheduled to work. Jason woke up early and did the dishes and vacuumed and generally cleaned house. Jason's very good about helping with that sort of thing, but he was smiling this big silly smile while doing it. Obviously, something was going on. He told me I was getting "the big surprise", so I started asking questions, Are we going somewhere? Can I take it to work with me? Do I have to unwrap it? He would always answer with something cryptic. We can go somewhere if you want. Yes, you can take it to work and hug it and love it. I hope it's wrapped... All I really got out of him was that our friend Danielle was going to bring it to us. So, we went out to eat lunch at my favorite restaurant, Sweet Basil Bistro, and waited for "Danielle" to bring me the "surprise". I wish you all could have seen Jason during this meal. That big, goofy smile was a permanent fixture. I'm still not entirely sure how he managed to eat his sandwich.

Finally, Jason stepped outside and came back with a bag. He handed it to me and asked me to guess what was inside. I told him it felt like a onesie. He said I could open it. Inside, was a little blue and white onesie that had, "Grandpa's sidekick" printed on it. I just stared. I was thinking at this point about how I had considered Dad coming to visit when Jason first told me that seeing Monkey on the ultrasound would rival this weekend. I had thought about it a few times since, but didn't want to get my hopes up and be disappointed. So, there I sat, staring, unable to look away in case Dad wasn't really there. Then I heard his voice, "What? You don't like it?"

Yes. I cried. That seemed to be everyone's first question. Needless to say, I got out of work that day. (Thank you SO much Lee!) Dad came in on Saturday and left Monday morning, so the time was short, but very sweet. And, yes, it did indeed rival seeing Monkey on that ultrasound.

Our Baby Boy

In case you haven't heard just yet... it's a boy! According to the poll that was here last month, most of you thought it would be; I think the final tally was 14 to 3.

We had such an amazing day Monday. I can't imagine a better anniversary gift than to be able to see our son. I think he must have felt the excitement, because he was moving SO much! I have felt him move before, but being able to see him move on the ultrasound screen made me feel every little twist and turn. In fact, since the ultrasound, I feel him constantly. He was breech at the time, and I think he must usually be in this position because he always kicks pretty low.

After we heard the magic words, "It's a boy!" we spent the rest of the day thinking about what that meant for us. Jason had a couple of interesting thoughts on the matter:

"I would make a great King... I make babies quick, and I make 'em boys."

"Hey! We won't have to pay for the wedding!"

Mostly, I was thinking that I need to learn a few things about sports. I thought of Lilly too, and how great a dog she's going to be for a boy. And I thought of how wonderful

it will be to have a "Momma's Boy" for the first several years (not to mention the fact that we can by pass the teenage-girl thing for a few more years!)

As far as more pictures of Baby go, there aren't many, but I thought you might enjoy seeing a few of these (kissably cute, I'm sure) baby parts.

* Sorry these pictures are so SMALL! I will try to change the scale and repost soon.

It's a... Baby!

It's pretty late here in California, and even later for you Texans, so I'll keep this post brief and catch you up tomorrow. I didn't think it was too fair to hold out on a picture of Baby though, so here it is! We've decided to tell you if it's a girl or a boy, but you'll have to wait a couple of days so we can make sure we're able to tell family first.

I still can't believe what an incredible day we've had! It's a little strange to know Baby's name, we've been using it all day. You'll have to wait on that of course, but we won't make you wait too much longer to start thinking pink or blue for this little Juneau!

That's one wiggly Baby!

Until last night, I have only felt Baby move a few sporadic times. These were generally followed by me freezing in place with a look of, "Wait, what was that?" on my face. This freeze-and-stare often needed to be explained to co-workers and the occasional grocery store clerk.

Last night was different. I lay partially on my side and my tummy (although there is really no distinguishing area anymore for either anymore!), and felt Baby move. I nearly held my breath trying to lay still enough to feel it again. Soon, I felt a "flick flick flick" nearly in succession. It was amazing. It was like Baby was communicating with me in some way. It wasn't long before I felt Baby move again, and I was overcome with a feeling of pride and gratitude and... just plain happiness. Soon, I was somewhere between tears and laughter.

It's such an incredible feeling. I was so excited, it was hard to fall asleep. Luckily, Baby kept me entertained for quite a while longer. ♥

Almost 18 weeks!

It's been a while since I've posted any belly pictures for you all, so I had Jason take a few last night. Lilly decided she should be part of the family moment, so she came and sat down right in front of me and looked at the camera. It was pretty funny.

I had a check-up yesterday and got to hear Baby's heartbeat again. Everything is going very well, and the heartbeat was very strong. My Midwife is guessing that it's a girl. Jason swears we're having a boy. One thing is for sure, we'll know in just a few weeks! We were able to get the ultrasound appointment on our anniversary, June 14th. I can't think of a better present to each other. We still haven't decided for sure whether or not we should make Baby's gender public... but I'm open to pros and cons if you have any advice!

In the mean time, I'm still trying to decipher Baby's movements from all of the other strange things my body has been doing lately! I have felt the flutters of Baby's first movements, but it hasn't yet been on a regular basis. It has only been distinguishable when I'm very still and relaxed... which is a great excuse to nap on the couch. :)

Our Family

It always bothered me a little when Jason and I first married and were considered a "couple" and not yet a "family". It seemed terribly unfair. Hadn't we been a couple for years? A family, to me, implies a strength and love and togetherness that can't be found anywhere else. While a couple has those same characteristics, it always has an air of expiration. Oh, they were a couple, but they've broken up. You don't really hear of families breaking up. They may have problems, but they're forever: Family.

I look around at our home, at our pets, at our life together and I know that, while Baby will certainly make us more than we are in so many ways, he or she already has a family in us.

And so, last week, for Jason's birthday, we took our family down to San Diego to a dog beach. Lilly and JJ had so much fun, it made me feel guilty that we aren't able to get away more often. It's tough to work nights and weekends when that's the only time Jason has off. I look forward to having dinner together and weekends free to get away and explore some when Baby comes. I feel blessed to even have the option of quitting work. It makes me a little sad to think of all of the Mommies (and Daddies) who would like to stay home with their children but are unable to do so.

I'm learning that we're pretty blessed in a lot of ways to have the (growing!) family that we have.

Scheduling Ultrasound

Jason says I should post a new blog, but to tell you the truth, I don't feel like much has happened in the baby-making way. I suppose there was one exciting event: when I read about Week 16 (starting Saturday!) it was the first time Baby's size wasn't compared to fruit. Baby has apparently grown from a grape to a kumquat to a kiwi to a lemon and is now... a gerbil.

In any case I can't wait for Baby, whatever size he (or she) is, to start moving enough for me to notice! This "quickening" or moving of Baby should be felt between 16 to 22 weeks. You'll be the first to know when it happens... unless I'm in a public place, then everyone within a 1/4 mile radius will be the first to know.

Our next appointment is Wednesday the 26th. We will be arranging for our ultrasound at this appointment so we can see Baby again and find out if we should be looking for pink or blue. Jason and I decided we'd like to try to schedule the ultrasound on June 14th, our anniversary. I thought it would make for a great present ♥

Baby's Heartbeat

Okay, so here I got you all excited that you might be able to see a video of our last visit when we heard Baby's heartbeat. Well, we've let you down. We didn't tape it. The battery to our video camera was not charged and we weren't able to get it going in time. Baby, however, is doing well! The rhythmic "whooshing" of the heartbeat was wonderful to hear, although Jason and I are both waiting to be able to see Baby again through the ultrasound. Particularly considering that last we checked, Baby was a kidney bean. In the next 3-4 weeks, we will be scheduling the appointment to find out if Baby is a boy or a girl! From the poll on the blog (right side of the screen) you all seem to be leaning toward Baby being a boy.

I hadn't realized that it had been a while since I last updated the blog. It seems that days are flying by at the moment! What a blessing. Every day is a day closer to Baby. The only problem is that I fear the days will continue to fly even after Baby arrives. I have to pace myself by thinking of the next closest milestone: See baby in ultrasound, feel Baby move, buy something for Baby, have Jason feel Baby move, prepare nursery, take birthing classes...

I know, it will all happen before I know it, but still, this waiting can be tough. In the mean time, I'm watching the progress in my waistline. I have gained only five pounds so far, but my belly is certainly looking more like Baby than Big-Lunch. I've been waiting for a stranger somewhere to ask me when I'm due. Of course, perhaps they would have time to ask if I weren't already announcing it to the room. "Can I get extra pickles on that? It's because I'm pregnant."